I'll see you in the ICU!

Here I go again

I've been up since about 10 am (that's my sleepy time, I should be asleep until about 3 PM) trolling the AANA website looking for alternate routes. What hope have I got of getting into a program with 3 months under my belt? I even saw one that was deadline for application Dec 1st, with entry date of January 2009!

2009!? that means if I apply NEXT December 1st (2008), that will be a 2010 entry?!

Holy crap.

Some require a minimum of 2 years ICU experience at time of application, some require a B in statistics, others a cumulative score of 1000 on the GRE, some require 3 reference letters, and some want a GPA of 3.2 or better. So I'd have to impress people somehow, quickly to get the reference letters (unlikely) retake statistics (I crammed it in 6 weeks and got a C) I'm borderline on everything else. I think I scored JUST over 1000 cumulative, I have exactly a 3.25 from Columbia (stupid labor and delivery professor ruined my gpa.)

One school wants you to be licenced in not only their state, but the neighboring state (and neither of them is California, so I'd have to have licences to practice in 3 states)

Last night, I was trying to stay awake, but crashed out around 11. "It's a nap" I thought, but as soon as I was alone in front of the TV, I zonked out. I kept waking up every hour or so, trying to sit up, pay attention to the TV (all the adult swim shows were on) I made coffee but I kept falling back to sleep. I finally caved in at 6 am and went to bed because it was so cold in the house, that I just wanted to crawl into the warm bed. I work tonight, so I will be good and screwed tonight if I can't take a nap before going to work--don't know how I will make it through the night. I'm already dreading every shift at this place. It's always bad. I hate it when I hate my job. This is a sure sign I need to move on.

I've been off for almost a week now. 6 Days.

I had been scheduled to go in Wednesday, but they had signed me up for a DAY class at UCSF, and that screwed my sleep all up. Then I called in sick for the following night because I felt like crap, and was so tired still from the 4 days' abuse they put me through the previous week (admit and discharge in the same shift...screw you guys) Then I had Saturday and Sunday off. I had been scheduled to go to another class today, but I work tonight and can't see calling in sick again--they'd crucify me. So, I'm just not going to go to the class. They'll give me crap about it, but I have no room number, location to find this class, just the time and date the class was to start, and they are scheduling me all over the classes so it would be very difficult to attend AND go to work; get it together people, it's not so hard.

Now I go back, completely unmotivated, and unwanting to be there. I keep checking my email to see if UCSF has written back, but no. They probably won't until around mid-January is my guess. I've only ever hated my job twice in my life, and I don't like when I hate my job. It's a miserable feeling.

posted by sketchmonkey @ 11:03 AM