I'll see you in the ICU!

I'm either a bitch...

or a dumb-ass.

Those were my two choices last night. I had to choose one. "I suppose I'm a bitch then, but...are these the only two choices there are?" I asked my preceptor, Marie.

"Yup."
"huh. I suppose then that I'm a bitch, but which of the two are you?"

:D

Ah, I'm so not concerned anymore about friendship or being liked.
When you're going to call me a bitch to my face, then we know there are issues.

Two nights ago, they were lamenting our traveler, Amanda renewing for another month.
"How long has she been here?"
"TOO Long!"

Yikes.
They hate her. She fills out incident reports for patients coming up from the ED needing to use a urinal. WTF? She also is a freak because she has tattoos and eats fire. Yes. She eats fire like in the circus. They talked about her for about an hour and said they can't wait for her to leave, she's not a good nurse, she does everything wrong...yadda yadda.

I worked with her last night. Of course, to her FACE they say "well, you're WEIRD, but we still LIKE YOU..." Holy cats...they like her? What was with all the talk last night then!?

With friends like these...

The one preceptor I worked with two nights ago, Josie, told me that night that that was probably her last night there. She was going to tend resignation, but call in sick for two weeks after that. She was cool--she was the one that verified I was right in that issue with the syringe and Andrea the nut. She gave me lots of good advice, and we talked about when she lost her husband to Leukemia three years ago--having lost my brother, we had that in common.

I was sad to hear she was leaving, but I knew it was this catty place, how they treat her and make her feel like an outsider...I knew first hand.

So last night, they were all catty about her leaving. She cleaned out her locker and left it open...an odd move, I thought. I'd have closed it and made a quiet escape--she chose to leave it wide open, almost signaling that she will not be back.

This place.
I sincerely hope I get into another ICU.
I start classes around the start of the new year. Yeah, I have to switch back and forth to days and nights for school and work in the same week. Why the hell didn't they get me into a class situation while I was on flipping days?!

Whatever.
Last night I had a patient with intracranial bleed and fractured skull in one room, and in the other room, a patient with bacterial meningitis. Neuro, Neuro, Neuro.
The one thing about this place that's good is the variety of stuff I'm seeing. It's a small ICU, and catty, but the patients are super sick. (and, that's a good thing?)

Still, this is a place I'm honing skills and that's all. Learning the ropes, and figuring out how (for the first time in my life) to deal with women.

Fuck. Women are hard. Harder than anything I've ever had to deal with. My girl friends are so not like these bitches. Is it me? it must be me, right? This place is working on my confidence, and self image. I hate how women can do this even though you know they are doing it and you try to not let it effect you.

I'm hoping it's just another month or two...three tops at this place.
Time to start praying.

posted by sketchmonkey @ 8:52 PM