I'll see you in the ICU!

Well, THAT was a waste of time...

So, I pack my professional atire, stealthily in a big bag and cram it in my locker, complete with shoes, belt, and make up. I leave work on time for once and bolt outta there, down to a random bathroom on the first floor. I dress in one of the stalls, cram my scrubs in my bag, and put some make up on to make myself look alive and run off for my car before anyone I know sees me all dressed in street clothes--it would be SUCH a giveaway.

I get there half an hour early. I wait around. Holy crap--this ICU was jumping (9 Moffet) Every time the doors opened up, there were people swarming, the unit clerk was always busy, there were people in and out, like a bee hive. So different than my little joke of an ICU.

When I met with T and C, they asked me to tell them about myself. So, I did, briefly. Why this unit? Well...blah blah... T stops me and says it's the most acute ICU in the whole hospital, that they have ICU nurses floating from other ICUs and that they get bent out of shape about being there. I listen, I nod. It then becomes clear that they're meeting with me only as a courtesy to their co-worker whom I forwarded my resume and asked for her help.

It appears they want me in a year, or more. So, I have no frigging idea how one gets into the critical care training program at UCSF, but I'm getting tired of applying and getting rejected by these bastards. They did say that they called me because I'm mature, I am a second career nurse, and as such, I know what I want to be doing and I'm not going to be flakey (little do they know!) I thought to myself--this is the type of ICU I should be at for a year, working to get ready for going back to Columbia. These are the nurses I'm going to be elbow to elbow with if I do go back, not the ridiculous silly nurses at my ICU. And here I am, unable to even get in.

At this rate, the only way I'm getting into an ICU here in the bay area is if I have an organ transplanted myself.

So I'm stuck at this hell-hole in San Mateo, with the 7 beds, and patients that are so stable they might as well be at long term care (and I don't know why some of them aren't!)

I'm pretty frustrated right now. Even if I go back to New York, this is clear what type of ICU they had hopes of me being at for a year, and my ICU is far from it. I won't be ready--and I might as well save myself the tuition and airfare, because they'll just send my ass back asap.

I'm going to bed.
Maybe I'll cry a bit--I haven't decided yet.
Probably not, I'm pretty tired.

posted by sketchmonkey @ 10:46 AM