I'll see you in the ICU!

Yahtzee!

OK go ROCKS!!!
When they're not dancing on treadmills, they're making hokey videos--god I so love them!

posted by sketchmonkey @ 7:46 PM 0 Comments

I'd be offended...

if ONE MORE REFERENCE hit home.
Dang!

posted by sketchmonkey @ 7:11 PM 0 Comments

There's nothing better than this

I Hope you guys have seen this--it's freaking brilliant!
Sorry about all this code here--they provided it and when I try to clean it up I get a "Your html cannot be accepted" message--seriously--my days of coding are 15 years gone by!
(bitches!)

href="http://www.myspace.com/okgo">OK Go href="http://youtube.com/group/okgodance"> - "Here It Goes Again" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/pv5zWaTEVkI">height="256">
Buy OK Go - Oh No at iTunes.

posted by sketchmonkey @ 6:39 PM 3 Comments

It's nothing A little more Cowbell couldn't fix!

I think I posted this last semester, but the vid got pulled off the host site.
I think Will Ferrell and Chris Walken are genius in this sketch--and I think the fact that I woke up with it in my head is a sign (or symptom?) of a TIA.

posted by sketchmonkey @ 9:14 AM 0 Comments

Why anesthesia residents shouldn't make music videos

This was too much--it's pretty funny but you have to stomach the shakey camera thing...But, some of you might find some of this interesting.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NijftUEuKvY

posted by sketchmonkey @ 6:15 PM 0 Comments

Is this the line for the spankings?

Good god, they're trying to flipping kill us. It's friday night, and when most people are out, doing fun stuff, drinking until they pass out, I'm probably going to be up until Tuesday--when I have to present my group project in "Health Promotion/Disease Prevention" (worth 40% of my dang grade!) AND we have our first midterm in Pathophysiology--easy subjects such as the Immune system, and Cancer--good golly!

I'm afraid to go up to the 11th floor for fear that I'll take a swan dive off the roof.

I'm also very sad about something lately--I deleted an account (www.43things.com) I had for the better part of a year. It became a pathological attachment--and we KNOW what Buddha said about attachment, eh? It breeds SUFFERING!!

It started innocently enough--it's a site where you make a list of 43 things you want to accomplish, and other 43thingers cheer you, and you interact...Sure, you start off with goals like "get an A in Chemistry" and then, before you know it, you're trying to "Become the executive director of my pants" or "slap a policeman with a flounder" or "map the human genome in my own way (with macaroni and glitter)" The real problem is that it had become a huge time waster, and nothing that I said, or anyone said on it was really real, it seemed. We were all there to validate our own insecurities--to make people laugh, to be the clown, to get support--I found the whole thing very enabling after a while.

One day, in pathophysiology, I was struggling to keep up with the prof, she was going so fast...and during a lull, I clicked over to 43, and saw something that got me mad, and I got mad that I was wasting valuable class time, distracting myself to stay awake, looking at something that was not directly related to what I'm doing here...so I hit the delete key.

I did meet a lot of very cool, quality, intelligent, funny, wonderful people on that site--both in the cyber sense and in real life. I regretted deleting the account later that evening--big time. I felt so alone in my little 8x10 room, I had written about my Mom, and some of those posts were written through tears..but I felt a huge void afterward.

I even got some online homework help from one guy (a shout out to my buddy Rob in Vancouver!) getting his degree in physics, who helped me (not gave me any answers, but just pointed me in the direction of finding my own answer.) Rob deleted his 43 account and I was devastated. I saw him on Gmail the day before I deleted and we chatted for a few minutes--he said it was hard at first, but that he didn't regret it; and made the analogy of surgical amputation, to which I could relate--lose the finger to spare the hand. Amen, brother. Amen.


I was IMing my friend, Paul, whom I met on that site. But he's going through some emotional stuff right now with his wife's mental health, and he's understandably worried. I was offering support and sympathy, but he acts as if I'm some sort of Buddha, tossing him pearls of wisdom...though, he called them tennis balls...I'm no Buddha; I struggle with attachments!

I think I just needed and wanted contact with intelligent people that are outside this ETP frenzy; everyone here is so damned psychotic, and all we can talk about is "isn't that fucked the way they did this to us, or that to us?" Or "how are your clinicals going?" but this last one is said more out of jealousy.

During the last fire alarm, right after clinicals, one of the other students, whom I don't even KNOW came up to me and asked me where I'm placed--I looked at her like "who the fuck are you?!" but then I realized she just wanted to know why I was allowed to wear scrubs and tennis shoes instead of our school uniform, as many still are. Deal with it, bitch.

Ok, Peeps--I'm truely swamped this weekend, and I'm goofing off enough on the 'puter. Know that I love youse all--and miss you.

And, BTW mofos-WHERE is the love?
No cookies, no notes or cards...gah--you guys are the fucking suckiest friends EVER!
;)
I'm thinking of changing my name to NOSLEEP/NOEAT Lisa--catchy?
You'll all feel so bad when you see how awful I look--I must have lost 10 pounds by now (not that I didn't have some padding to lose!) but my clothes are falling off.

Hopefully, if I survive this year, and pass my classes and the exams, I'll be home this time next year!!

posted by sketchmonkey @ 4:21 PM 0 Comments

Crazy is as crazy does

Hello All!
It's been a while, eh?
Let me tell you all that it's been nutty, nutty, nutty.

This semester, they've split us up into groups (divide and conquer!?) and there are 5 rotations to do between this and next semester. My first rotation is Community.

I am actually really liking community! I find that it fits right in to my altruistic, Buddhist nature--I'm at the Urgent care clinic near school, so it's an easy 10 minute walk for me.

Where last semester I was in a group of 9 to one preceptor, this semester it's strictly 1:1. I'm the only one coming to this clinic to do the rotation. While I thought the pressure would be on to be a know-it-all, I find that I'm having a really good time and actually learning more this way.

My preceptor has only been there once out of the four times I've been there, taking the first, third and fourth day off for an emergency personal day (whatever) but the rest of the people in the clinic have taken me under their wing and are quite marvelous. They like what they do, are good at it, like each other, and believe in what they are doing--they offer the patients the best care possible, regardless of that person's ability to pay or not.

On my first day, they were short staffed, so I got to watch the nurse triage for about half an hour and then was told to triage on my own...to ask if I needed any help.

!?! excuse me !?!

So, boy--what an amazing experience!

Let me back up and explain what Urgent Care is to those of you whom might not know--When people don't have insurance, they usually go to the emergency room and, for lack of a better word, clog up the system, with non-emergent complaints like "bronchitis" or general sprains/etc.

So, in an effort to spare the ER for real emergencies, New York Presbyterian has set up this Urgi-care clinic, where no one is turned away. This is amazing.

So many people do have insurance, but because of language barriers, or the confusion of dealing with the insurance companies, or waiting for enrollment periods, they somehow slip thru the cracks and never figure it out. The Urgi-care staff not only sees them, but they work on a sliding scale and fees are set by what they can afford to pay. They also have staff that helps everyone find out what insurance they qualify for and helps them fill out the forms so that they do get the ability to set a primary care physician and go to the doctor for health maintenance, not wait for things to get terciary and then end up in the ER. They walk out with what they need--medications sometimes, perscriptions they can afford (we look up not only effective meds, but most affordable meds for folks that we know will have to pay out of pocket)Medicare/Medicaid forms filled out, if they qualify, and referrals and appointments for follow up care with a primary physician. Many people get such good treatment that they keep coming back and we have to explain to them that this facility is for people that don't have what they have gotten last time they were there...but we treat them again, just the same, and urge them to go to the referral appointments we have set up for them.

So, my first day, I got to do triage--this is essentially the first step in the process of seeing a nurse or doctor. I don't think I spoke a word of English that day--everyone was from the Dominican Republic. One NYPD officer with stitches to remove, several pregnant women who complained of spotting two months into their pregnancy and they were worried. One person with shortness of breath, another complained of having a persistant bitter taste in her mouth.

I checked their names, date of birth, asked them their chief complaints, about the pain/problem--to describe it, localize it, give it a number...took their vital signs, and sent them back out to wait for the doctor to call them.

The next day, I got to pull stitches out all day long. It's funny to me how all the cases clump together--one day it's 9 people who all come in on the same day to remove stitches...the next day, it was unexplained itching...back and legs--no rashes, just itching. Another day it was all unexplained discharge--and plenty of pelvic exams.

So far, the bulk of it has been STD checks. Taking urine samples, doing chlamydia/gonnorhea tests, several pregnancy tests.

An interesting case was a fellow who came in with a chief complaint of an odd balding pattern--turned out to be Tinnea capitis, a fungal infection, but when you get the guy in the exam room he tells Joseph, the Nurse Practitioner I was following around that day, that he's really there for an unexplained sore on his penis, that's hurting like mad. So, we look at it--Herpes. And, he's not only got sores there, but around his anus, and fissures--all of a sudden, he starts to look very thin to me...and just then Joseph asks him if he's ever had an HIV test. Never, he says.

We did several tests on him for STDs, he had no insurance so we had to decide which tests to do; which would be affordable for him--and where to refer him for free immediate HIV testing. We chose inexpensive drugs to prescribe him, and wrote down the names of things he could take over the counter for the Tinea.

I walked home from clinic thinking about that young man. How in fuck could this happen that in this day and age, someone doesn't know to take precautions...and gets possibly infected with HIV, certainly with Herpes--outrageous.

I was sad, but on the flipside, I had to think about all we did for him--he was better off walking out than he was walking in.

I realized that everytime I walk to, or from clinical this semester, I have a smile on my face. I feel good about what I'm doing, and I love the feeling of making a difference. I'm glad I left architecture. I never once smiled on my way to or from work then--even on the good days. That's saying something.

posted by sketchmonkey @ 11:32 AM 2 Comments

Oh, to be 14 again

these kids are amazing.
check it out.
You'll feel old.
especially the next time you hear that sound come out of you,
you know the one...the one you make when you stand up from a kneeling position or from a low-lying chair...

posted by sketchmonkey @ 8:25 PM 1 Comments

That's more like it

OK--I just got back from my first clinical day. Since yesterday, the first day of school, there have been several stupid disorganization errors that made me a bit mad. I was in one of those moods yesterday, where I didn't want to talk to anyone, and even talking to George on the phone was tense because I had so much to do, and I was in a crappy mood, etc.

Yesterday, my first class, taught by possibly the worst professor in the Milky Way, was supposed to start at 8 am. So I arrived at 7:45, and sat around, no one came...I waited until about 15 after, and decided to leave. I went across the street to use the computer and see my courseworks schedule online--from what I could tell, I was in the right place, and the day and time were right, but since this is our five-by-five rotation semester, I thought I might have the wrong part of the semester (that possibly in a month or so when I change clinical sites, the class would accompany the change.) The next class was Pathophysiology at noon.

So I came back to my room, organized stuff, put things away, IMed a little--and when I got to pathophys I was able to piece together that Professor Dumbass had sent an email (although, not to ALL of us) telling us that class would start at 9 am.

This would have been great, if she knew what the hell she was doing, and had sent it to all of us. Instead, I got up at 6:30 to basically go sit in an empty room, and then come home and wait til patho.

This started my crappy day, and from there, it just seemed to get more ridiculous, disorganized, stupid and chaotic. I am counting the days until I can come home and hopefully apply to Samuel Merritt, or Kaiser's anesthesia program in Fullerton.

Today was better, however. I headed off for the Audubon Urgent Care clinic, and I guess my contact person had decided to take a vacation day, so she wasn't there. I called the dean of students to ask her what she recommended, and told her I had asked and they said they didn't mind me being around, if I wanted to stay--so I did.

(Apparently, I was supposed to contact my contact person, and no one told me--so I just showed up on my first day, as I was told, and she wasn't there--yippee! New York!)

So, I hung out with an experienced nurse, who's been doing this for 22 years, and I got the grand tour of the place.

Initially, I was watching the triage process, which at an urgent care clinic is mostly interviewing people about their maladies, what they're complaints were, etc.

Mostly, the men wanted a note from the doctor to say "3 days rest from work" and all but twoof the women were 1 to 2 months pregnant, and spotting and cramping--so we did a few urine tests, a couple of pelvic exams, standart tests for STIs and wrote referrals for them to go get checked out that the pregnancy wasn't ectopic.

The other two women had different complaints--one had a pulled muscle/nerve issue in the neck, radiating to the shoulders and back and up to her face, and the other had what looked like a possible break or sprain in her hand from "playing" with her son.

So, this is urgent care, eh?

The cool thing is that this is truely community health. I like this--there's a real sense of helping the common man. These folks are what we would consider the "working poor" folks with jobs, possibly living check to check, with no insurance. They are charged on a sliding scale, and no one is turned away.

I guess the idea behind urgent care is that here in NY there were so many people without insurance, that they waited until they were so sick they had to go to the ER where they knew they would be treated; the ERs became clogged with non-Emergency cases, so they opened up this satelite clinic to take care of those patients that were ambulatory, and maybe not as acute as someone needing the ER.

In all, these guys were awesome. There are two attending physicians, two nurses, and several other support staff--and me. They call each other by first name (quite different than last semester when I smiled and said "hello Betty" after being introduced to her, and she turned on her heel and dressed me down in front of everyone, not speaking directly at me, but to my preceptor--as if not speaking to the help--"oh no! Students can NOT call ME by my first name!! It's MS. DOLFEEN!")

I'll never forget her. Every time I saw her in the hospital, I would look at my watch, or stop to look for something in my fanny pack, or consult my PDA...I wasn't about to call her anything.

These guys went out of their way to make me feel welcome, spoke to me as if I were a human being like themselves, and showed me everything I could hope to know.

I go back there tomorrow, and I'm actually looking forward to it. Last semester I really dreaded my clinical day; but this semester it's the best part of my week--the class rooms are getting to me, and I'm quite ready to be done with this portion of the studies. So much BS (like community health courses--and teachers who don't show up, or test you on random esoterica that was in a referred article, some data point that you didn't commit to memory--arg!)

So, this semester will be fun. No more chaning bed linens, or any of that dirty stuff. These are all mostly well patients, with minor issues; not end-stage like last semester. That was tough.

But, as I was leaving, one of the nurses came back to talk to the other nurse, and said "I'm putting him in exam room 5" and the nurse I was talking to visibly changed expression, and after the patient was in the room, the first nurse came back and said--"fever for more than a week, maculopapular rash"

And the nurse I was talking to said "chicken pox"

With that, I was OUTTA there.

She told me that Exam room 5 was their negative pressure room, and they only use it for infectious people--that's why her face had changed. I love the secret code they speak in--too funny!

I hope you're all well--forgive me for being out of touch, but it's a necessity.
Love you all!
MUAH!

posted by sketchmonkey @ 11:39 AM 0 Comments

Did I dream it?

Sigh--the month went by already?
I rolled into my room and it was exactly as I remembered it; exactly as I left it. I immediately understood why they sent around the health center info about insurance and, though it struck me as very odd, the suicide prevention pamphlet.

I was flooded with despair and sadness at being back, yet strangely, seeing the cell I live in was somehow anodyne. Here, I cease to be, and yes, George teases me in monotone robot voice ("I am an academic robot...no emotions are felt...does not compute") etc I kind of do sublimate a lot of my "self" into the studies.

So, I unpacked, and re-installed my water filter, and I prepared my boone-board dry erase calander that will soon be crammed with teeny weeny script all over it, telling me where I'm supposed to be, what I'm supposed to have done, and what's due at every moment of the day.

I can't go to the bathroom without checking my boone-board, it seems.

Anyway. I also need to find a new driver because mine kinda juked me today--I got in the car BEFORE setting the price and so, somehow, the price was $10 more than the reverse trip, when he brought me to the airport a month ago.

I know they're all covering their gas inflation, but $50 for a 20 minute drive? Yowza. I need a new Dominican.

Anyway--I'm on one hour's sleep, so I am going to hop into a hot sudsy bath, and get to bed...I'll try to write something coherent tomorrow :)

posted by sketchmonkey @ 5:56 PM 0 Comments

30 days of ...

My laptop battery, according to my status meter, indicates that I've about two hours. It's 3:30 in the morning, the Friday before the Sunday I head back to New York. In all, I have to say that it's not been the sort of break I was expecting.

Is there ever a break or vacation that ever goes to plan?

This is the first thing I learned about Buddhism--desire breeds suffering. Whether that desire is lust, or greed, or materialism, or just a general expectation for the way things should go, this all leads to suffering. To want is to suffer; and I wanted too much during this break.

I wanted to come home and establish one friendship; it got off to a very rocky start, if I can even say that about it.

I wanted to read two text books, and put together fabulous reference notes, cross indexed and everything, in order to get a tiny bit ahead next semester.

I wanted to make a massive dent in the house--sort through some more of Mom's things and make room for Jackie to come live with us. She has moved in, but the only thing I was able to effectivly do is clean out the bedroom for her; the rest of the house is still in 'sort thru' mode.

I wanted to also, bask in the warm, comfortable California sun, but the second I arrived, the cloud cover moved in, and it only just burned off yesterday.

So, I've been completely ineffectual, and I can count my accomplishments on one hand:
I gave the dog a bath (yesterday, the day the sun finally shone)
I went to work with Jean and it was an amazing experience in the OR
I moved my neice in
I read half of one book

I've also managed to have so much on my mind that I can't sleep, and so, have been fairly sleep deprived for a few weeks now. I'm hoping I will be able to sleep on the plane, at this point, because this couch is killing me, and as much as I'm dreading going back to New York, at least there's a quiet little room for me, where nothing exists but school and homework.

So--this is an incredible feeling; one of being pushed and pulled, simultaneously. On the one hand, I hate New York, but on the other hand, I'm hating my disjointed life here--the lack of effectiveness, the limitation on how much I can get done in such a short time, the bungling I feel I've been doing.

In any case--Sunday I'll be travelling back to the east--land of misery and bad weather. I'll be gone around a hundred days--and I'm thinking of marking them the way a climber gauges his progress by pitons...slowly, one move at a time.

And maybe, before I know it, it will be next year--poof.

Magic.
or at the very least, Christmas break--and I can start day dreaming and longing for the perfect ten days off, and every moment of every one of those ten days...

Leaning mind.
To want is to suffer.

posted by sketchmonkey @ 1:40 AM 0 Comments