First, I'd like to know...who the hell is running things here?!
So, you may remember the story about the form, "it's almost like they care"
Here's the emails sent back and forth between me and one of the associate directors (the one who just graduated from this program 2 or 3 years ago, and has probably been a CRNA maybe only a year or two)
Email from me to this person:
"So and So, yesterday I left the Master's specialty form that I was supposed to fill out by march 9th in the Anesthesia department's mail box on the 2nd floor operations office. Please confirm for me that you received it, since I'll just worry it got lost or not into the right hands I've been by your office several times and never seem to time it correctly when you are there (yesterday it was closed) Thanks very much!"
So and so Replies: "You are more likely to find life in our office on M, T and W. I will look for your form next week."
So, a whole week goes by, the following week I wonder if he's forgotten to get back to me or what, so I write back:
"Hi, So and so...Missed you again this week (it's been hectic) could you let me know if you received the form (since we're coming down to the wire with the deadline?) I heard a rumor I wasn't supposed to turn it in to you guys, but rather to student services, any truth to that? I'd like to get this taken care of and crossed off my list. You'd think something like turning in a form would be easier, Sheesh.Thanks for your help!"
To which he replies back: "I am just back in from a conference and have not yet seen your form. I will look for it tomorrow. I am unsure of which form exactly you are referring to, so I do not know where it is supposed to be directed." Thanks for telling me you'd look for my form last week, then...forget about your conference, or just bad at managing details?
This is the story here, NO ONE seems to know shit about shit. You ask 5 people, you get 5 different answers.
I replied back:
"Thanks, So and so, I threw my back out so I probably won't be able to come by tommorrow (as I was hoping to, after peds) It's whatever form you signed a few of and gave to C.H. to disseminate to the rest of us. It was presigned by you, and it's got all the classes we'll be taking for our MS specialty on it (all the ANES courses)
I guess, if you can't find it, could you leave another presigned one at the etp office for me so I can take it to wherever it's got to go...and I'm not sure who'd know about this form...it's the one K.D. was saying is so important to get in by the 9th of this month if we want our place held in the masters program we were accepted into.
I will call her tomorrow, I guess, and get her to tell me. She and J.H. seem to be the only ones that have spoken of this form with any understanding of what this form is and who it goes to. I find this whole thing confusing and unclear. Sorry to bother you so much with it. I've nowhere else to turn!"
(Now, watch the clever little "cover your ass" that comes in this reply from him because I mentioned the dean and the director in my email)
"It will be important for you to attend to details as you progress.When instructions are "fuzzy," seek clarification.I found your Anesthesia Template and will place it inJ.H's mailbox. You should have retained a copy for yourself so that youhave the details of your curriculum. You should not deviate fromthe curriculum without input from your faculty advisor. Thetemplate was developed to meet many requirements of severaldifferent departments. Changes to your curriculum may result inyour inability to graduate or to qualify for financial aid."
Well, I guess writing you, because I made the mistake of thinking you were the only one who had his head out of his ass in this program was a mistake...because seeking clarification was exactly what I've been trying to do. And fuzzy it up is what the whole department has been doing since they handed someone else a form to give me and there's no explanation WHO it goes to WHAT office they're in, and when you ask, no one knows what the fuck form you're talking about.
Now, I know you're all horrified back at home. I'm sorry I ever doubted what you were saying about this program...it's true, and worse than you even said it would be. Mea culpa. Mea Culpa, mea maxima culpa!!
Holy moly...I've got a first class cabin on the Titanic. and they're trying to figure out how to arrange the deck chairs, it seems.
NYPD and their obvious lack of knowledge regarding law
So, I'm in the grocery store, picking up a few things.
I decided to check out their shitty cheese aisle and see if there's anything even edible there...when I see 4 employees standing around, watching two guys bickering.
I cock my nosey ear.
Turns out the big fat moose is store "security" (goon) and the smaller scruffy guy is someone being accused of shop lifting.
"I saw you put my cheese in your pocket" insisted the goon. "I was going to pay for it" said scruffy. He looked exactly like Joseph Fiennes.
I went up to the four bystanding employees and asked, "does that guy work here?" They nodded, and he turned on me "what?"
I said, "Oh, I was wondering if you work here" "Yeah, I'm Security" "ah," I said "well, I wonder then if you know that it's not shoplifting until he tries to walk past the registers without paying...untill then, he can fill his pockets all he likes, and you'd have a hard time proving it wasn't his intention to pay"
"would you mind your own business?" He growled back. "If I were you, I'd call the police, because this store may end up getting sued by this gentleman"
Scruffy looked at me with panic and thanks in his eyes. A lady passed me and said "I'd sue the living shit out of them, they can't prove he wasn't going to pay for it"
I went thru the register. walked out as they were shaking this poor guy down in the front of the store, now he was fighting back tears. Maybe he didn't have any money on him and he really had intended to steal the cheese...even sadder, no? They were yelling at him "OK, pay for the cheese, then...Pay for it"
The police showed up...8 or so of New York's "finest"
and I said "he was WAY back in the back of the store, you can't prove he wasn't going to pay for it"
"thank you, thank you" all they said.
Then, walking home, I checked my receipt. I always forget that this store always rings up things at least a dime more expensive than it's marked. Sure enough, they stiffed me again. So I turned around, and stood in line again, for a dime and made them refund me. This has been going on since May...who's ripping off whom?
Poor guy. They had him in cuffs and as I walked out, with my dime, and my bagles and cheese, I heard him saying "guys, please....dont' do this....don't DO this!"
I fucking love New York. 8 uniformed cops, for a three dollar piece of cheese.
Last night, I received an email from someone at the ETP office asking me to come to discuss my integration site. This isn't the norm; this is because of my MS and difficulty getting around this summer in the super hot heat.
I ended up having a choice of two places, Cornell or Millstein. I like Cornell, but it's a 6:15 shuttle ride over to the east side, which, I'd be willing to do if it were a good placement. Millstein is around the corner from here, on the next block. A five minute walk.
So, I told her I could get around fine, now; it was just the heat of summer that was killing me and zapping my energy. She said the choices were Cardiac care ICU, a burn unit, a PACU, and something else I forget, so pretty much I picked the CCICU.
I'll be there from 7 am to 7 pm 3 days a week. Another student from my clinical group will be working on my unit doing the 7 pm to 7 am shift, so we'll be handing off patients to each other, giving report to each other and so on...should be interesting.
Anyway, I'm excited that I got into a CCICU. I was worried about being ready for a CCICU when I get back home. I thought for sure my placement would be crap.
Home in two weeks. It's maddening to be this close to coming home. I'm so excited.
PS: it's colder than a penguin's ass here. Be glad if you're back in beautiful California, eh?
I don't know why. I forgot to take my Omega fatty acids, that usually does it, but I didn't remember that I'd forgotten it until a little while ago. It must make a difference.
Mental note: Do NOT forget to take those!
I was also without breakfast when our preceptor (who never let's us stop for breaks unless we ask for them) announced that today we'd work thru lunch and get out early. Fine, but I'm starving NOW.
Add to this that I was assigned a patient with severe microcephaly (a tiny brain) and severely retarded, on Ativan (which had the paridoxical effect on this young kid of giving him loads and loads of energy) so there was plenty of kicking, flailing, and screaming. He's blind, too, but when he swings around a modern-day version of the speak-and-spell ( a much heavier version) he'd land a few.
I got home at 1:30 and was so utteryly wiped out, I fell asleep in my uniform, with my jacket over me for an hour or so.
A fun day.
Add to this the snotty comment in rounds: The medical director asked the nurses what they'd recommend to her neice who wants to go to Nursing school.
"I went to Maryland and LOVED it" our preceptor said. A few other nurses said "mm hmmm, me too, I went there"
and then the one lone unsmiling taut face of a prematurely embittered limp-haired woman who said "as long as it's not one of those accellerated programs...those are never very good' and never looked up to see the looks on our faces as we sideways glanced and bit our lips.
"oh, "said the director, "so I should tell her to save her money, then and forget those high end, exclusive colleges, then?"
"oh yes, it's just such a waste of money"
After returning to patient talk for a few minutes, the Medical director focused on me and said "oh, are you nursing students?" I nodded politely.
but it was all I could do to keep from adding "at one of those accellerated, exclusive programs."
Everyone later told me I should have, but I didn't want to embarrass our preceptor, or make it rough on the other students. I should have put her on the spot, I should have. "oh? there are several people who work on this floor who went through an accellerated program who seem to be very competant nurses...are you saying they are not?" ("bitch?")
I bet she was rejected for the BSN-MSN program and she's holding it against us. And that's an easier program to get into than the ETP.
She fails to recognize that some of us actually have impressive degrees...it's not like we were sitting around, flipping burgers and decided to do a BSN in a year, ya know?
There are chemical engineers, a few people with undergrads in physiology, people who had finsished premed and passed the MCATs with very respectable scores, biochem majors, pharm majors...
So, part of the homework load for this long weekend--I have to design an algorhythm for diagnosing, given pharyngitis.
Is this what medicine has come to? I find this class interesting (having been a nerd in a former life) but this is so much work for a 1 unit class! And, are we getting away from patient care by training nurses to be database architects?
My friend and I went down to the East side today to sign up for the ACLS course we've been talking about. This is an overt attempt at plumping up our resumes and at least getting it out of the way.
The first Peds midterm went well (though, I missed two that I know of, out of a hundred) but I'm hoping that what I feel and what I actually did are in concordance. I was pleased to say that all the fear they put into me about Peds and Psych have paid off so far. I ended up with an A in psych and doubt I can do that in Peds, but I'm sure gonna try.
This is a three day weekend and I've got five assignments pending for monday/tuesday that I have to crank out. The pace never slows even during a "holiday."
I'm so sleep deprived right now that I was delirious a few hours ago, and felt so dizzy it was like I had been drinking--that's never happened to me before. So, suspecting that I was really hypotensive/hypovolemic, I started drinking some water and feel better. But still, if I turn my head quickly, my eyes get all googley for a few seconds while they try to adjust...what gives?
I took a hot bath, changed the sheets on my bed, and I'm planning "a long winter's nap" as described in The Night Before Christmas...I'm even planning on sugar plum fairies dancing thru my head.
Anyway, I survived the week, improbable as that was. Tomorrow, Saturday, will mark 21 days til I return home for spring break.
I miss you guys somethin' awful. let's get together, eh? :)
So, my last post said something about the weather not being so bad. LOL
Yesterday, Valentines day no less, a mother of a storm moved in and finally Manhattan felt it.
I can say something I've never said in my life, before yesterday: I walked to (and from) school in the snow.
Wearing thermals under my uniform, my Columbia brand boots (good til minus 45 degrees), my North Face ankle-length down parka, a down hooded vest under that, mittens and a fleece hood over my face with only my eye-glasses poking out.
I looked like a down-filled mummy.
But, I was warm :)
It was so cold, that the white-coats and scrubs all lined up at the Jou-Jou cafe in the lobby of the Children's hospital to buy out their over priced wraps, soup and sandwiches, rather than don all the gear and brave the cold (not that there's much better selection out there!)
I'm bringing my camera today (hopefully, it won't get swiped in clinical) and I'm gonna try to get some photos of it, and my group (which is behaving a bit better...hmmmmm.)
One of the best investments I made was a pair of velvet curtains for my dorm window. Pull the plastic blinds to buffer the wind coming thru the cracks, and pull the curtain over that and it does a mighty fine job of keeping the wind off me while I sleep. I can hear the wind howling outside right now and I'm dreading having to go out in it for the 3 block walk to the hospital--ugh.
Snow is supposed to fall GENTLY, isn't it? like in beautiful Lake Tahoe, near a fire, with a nice glass of red wine, and you look outside and a fine, gentle dusting of snow is going on and you go "ahh, look...it's snowing!"
Here, it goes sideways, and gets up your nostrils and pelts you in the face and glasses and you look outside and go--holy crap...was that a Buick that just went past my window?
No hollywood snow here; this is real life. Not even Minnesota was this gross that I remember. I really hate the wind most of all. If I were a couple pounds lighter I'd be worried.
Alrighty, I've got to get dressed now. And when I get back it's probably going to be close to an all-nighter cramming for this Peds test tomorrow. Milestones, nutrition, pathophys, orthopedics, fluids and electrolyte balances, med math, IV drip rates, etc etc. Something like 30 chapters, I think. (not that I've read them)
We're gearing up for our first peds test; full of mundane minutia that's all pump and dump--what milestone should little Johnny have reached between ages 4-6 months, 6-8 months, 6-12 years, and so on.
I guess it's mildly interesting. For someone that's never had kids, has never been very interested in them, nor plans to work with them in any way. It's all taking up valuable RAM in my diminishing brain matter.
I'd rather have swapped this course, and Labor and Delivery (and psych for that matter) and had extra physiology, med surg, and pathophys...or even a prep course on taking the NCLEX.
But that would be too practical.
In case any of you are wondering, the weather here has been off and on as far as severe cold. It's only been unbearable a few times (provided the right gear.) With thermals, an ankle length down North Face Parka, a shearling hat, mittens, and a scarf wrapped around your face, it's not all that bad.
Today it's a balmy 29 degrees out. But, it's the wind chill that gets ya. If it's still outside, the weather seems a bit warm around 30 degrees (somehow--maybe it's the thermals and thick socks) I bought a shearling jacket on Ebay, and it's like carrying a dead sheep on your back--man is it heavy, but it stops the cold for sure.
I think the thing that annoys me most about New York is the fluctuation in temperature. How does one with such a small amount of closet/apartment space accomodate all the damned gear and clothing/wardrobe changes one has to make? It's incredible to me that people put up with this crap at all. God Bless California...and especially, the Bay Area, where the temps remain constant around 10-20 degrees fluctuation.
I just realized today: my weekends are busier than my week. I wake up friday mornings running down the gigantic list of things I have to do over the weekend.
My friend, LaCrista and I are gearing up to take ACLS courses and get that certification out of the way.
Then we've got 3 case studies (write ups and presentations) one for didactic, and two in clinical, PLUS another case study (ficticious) for Evidence Based Practice class (I worked on it all night last night and barely made a dent in it.)
Then, I have a topic and presentation due in Issues of Nursing, and an online quiz/assignment due...
For my peds rotation, I'm at CHONY about two blocks away, which is nice. I guess they are rated 6th in the nation (as per a banner in the lobby, making this claim.)
I like the floor I'm on--pediatric oncology. As most of you know, I have a ton of personal experience in oncology. So most of these kids have had bone marrow transplants and the fact that I walked in and knew about BMT, and the procedure, the fact that they treat it for graft versus host disease...all this really rubbed the skanks in my clinical group.
Ya know what? I'd gladly trade your living sibling and ignorance for my knowledge of it and dead sibling...OK? so shut it.
It's a really great floor, and it seems like a nice way to end the 5x5 (five by five) rotation nightmare.
Over lunch, my friend Keiko and I had Indian food at the new place to open up in the neighborhood (food not too bad) and sat in the lounge at the ETP building (I didn't even know there was a lounge there) and the other clinical group was there. They were all commenting on how the Yale Nursing students never say things like we do; how they hate the program, how it's Effed up, and complain about this professor and that, the way they test, how unfair it all is, the disorganization.
Maybe, because it's a good program? I'm guessing?
So, I heard more rumblings from people saying they didn't think they'd be back for the MSN portion. This campus must HEMORRHAGE students after this first year! (at least, that's what the rumor is, and I have heard it from 4 different people.)
I also heard a comment that the reason all our GPAs were upped a couple points (they were?) was because of acreditation. Can you BELIEVE THIS?
So, after lunch, on my way to watch three back to back videos on pediatric physical assessment and respiratory distress (in an overheated, darkened room, belly full of Indian food and on three hours sleep, no easy feat, mind you!) I passed the ETP anesthesia office.
I poked my head in, and surprise! the associate directors were gone to lunch (yet, wouldn't be back til after 5:00--that's some lunch!) I've been by on 4 seperate occasions and they are NEVER there.
The main director was there, and I asked her about the form (see my post below) because I had forgotten mine in my room, so I was playing like I didn't have it, just to get one submitted now. She said "huh? what form, who are you?"
I told her my name, while she's 6" away from my ID tag trying to read it. I asked "oh, I saw the board says they're at Coogans, (the bar around the corner) should I just come back later?"
She goes "huh? oh, no...that was me..." and gets up to wipe the board on her door clean. I wonder about the program, and worry about the competency of what seems like a figure head director, and two recent grads running the program. It's so dysfunctional. Perhaps this is because I'm not in that portion of the program, but this school has a curtain of silence that is seemingly impenetrable. I don't understand why it's so easy to talk to other schools, and get info from them. I attributed this quality to the physical distance; but now I'm here--and the info flows even less.
"What form? who are you? are you in anesthesia?"
I said, "I'll just come back later when W is here...sorry to bother you"
REMINDER: there are FIVE of us. is it that hard to remember our names?
Ok, I'm starting to lash myself to the mast for the next five weeks. This week, we start our fifth and final rotation. For me, that's Peds.
Stupid Peds.
It's not that thier gross anatomy or physiology is that much different; it's that they have all these damned changes and developmental milestones you're supposed to know. Little Johnny is 4 months old and his head still lags? Hmmm, that's not normal. LIttle Jane is 6 years old and still only doing parallel play? Uh-oh!
That kinda stuff. Oh well.
Also, today we start EBP (evidenced based practice) and that's BOUND to be a hootinanny because it's the continuation of ACE (assessing clinical evidence) last semester, which I thought was interesting, but nearly killed me. This was a graduate level research class. I loved the prof, Leanne (though she's not teaching EBP) but the topic itself was so much statistics and data analysis and picking apart studies to interpret what they're REAL results were, not what they said they were.
This new class really cuts into my study time for the class I have this afternoon (Issues in Nursing) in which we have tests every week. This worries me because this is that L&D prof that just hates me, and I've NOT been doing well on her stupid trick question tests. I fall for the sucker question every time. I hate her. Think: Nurse Ratched meets a psychotic Ellie-May Clampet...yep, that's her.
On the happy side, I sent my resume to B and he replied right back that when I get into town we should get together for lunch and talk. I'm soooo excited that I almost went running outside in the 9 degree weather shouting "I might never have to come back to this crap heap ever again!!!" but thought better of it.
So, today, I'm walking into my psych didactic final. My friend Gretchen, who's married to Charlie--another anesthesia student, says "hey, I've got something for you."
She hands me this form (it's signed by W, who is now an associate director--he graduated in 2004)
We're supposed to go in and meet with our advisor, who is supposed to sit down with us and go over our programs, answer any questions, get to know us, etc.
So, I guess signing a bunch of forms and not meeting with any of us is just as good. They love us, and cherish us, right?
It's all clear to me now, thanks for that form. It's swept away all the doubts I've had about coming here.
Also, I get an email from someone at the ETP office saying that we need to get our portfolios ready for integration. "...Your portfolio should contain the following items… • CPR Certificate • Immunization Records • Letter that you have received from orientation stating that you have taken courses in Child Abuse and Infection Control. • Your license when you get it."
Only...we never GOT any letters during orientation saying we passed the child abuse/infection control tests. They only told us "the following people have to retake the test...if we don't call your name, you passed."
That's what I love about this place. They're so on top of stuff and really care about us as students.
